All Sunshine and Smiles

amazing kids. its a tag-line i swiped from The Children's Institute. wyatt is one of those kids and this week he has proven to be a seriously AMAZING little man. he seems to have made a full recovery after last week's scare. the pediatrician told me that after she saw the lab results from the ER, she expected him to have a long stay in the ICU. maybe permanent. but he's stronger than ever, now. hungry as ever, too. and we've enjoyed spring's arrival, spending time helping dada build his compost pile and going for walks in the tripped out BOB stroller. we are all feeling great. and here's hoping the sunshine and smiles last! thanks to all for the emails and phone calls. we really thrive on the support of our family and friends. SMILE!

Adversity

we've made it to spring here in the east and it couldn't have come soon enough. my next post was intended to be this inspirational talk by Aimee Mullins. i watched it with tears rolling down my cheeks, and felt hopeful by the end that i, too, will make the best of the challenges that life has set before me.

then tuesday came. darn tues. Wyatt had another febrile seizure, but this time he stopped breathing. for a long time. crazy sounding words were thrown out in the ER, like intubate and resuscitate, call social work and other exclamations i, luckily, have blocked out. the breathing tube came out relatively quickly, and he has been breathing fine on his own for over 24 hours. we are likely going home tonight. we have been through this before. fever hits, sometimes a seizure, trip to the ER, a few days inpatient, an antibiotic, and home again. this time feels different. there are conversations about a "plan". mom, dad, do you have one? let's think about one. etc, etc.

i'm not sure i'm ready for a plan. planning doesn't always seem to work out for me. i planned to have a soccer team of kids. i planned to go on camping trips with my kids. i planned to braid their hair and play dress up. i planned to color with them and scold them and wash the dirt from their boo-boos. i know that this type of plan is different. but i never "planned" that parenthood would come with this kind of choice. maybe it will all be for nothing and it will never be put into place. but adversity like this seems too much to plan for, today anyway.