One Last Time

it's been a long while since i posted anything about our little cowboy.   the past 2 months have,  how can i say it, um, really hard.  on april 15th Wy had a terrible seizure and we did the whole icu thing.  the routine that we had become familiar with in 2010, but hadn't experienced since september.  the rest of april and may were spent trying to keep everyone healthy, getting ready for the new baby, and just focusing on having fun.  oh yeah, we got a dog too.  unfortunately, despite all of our efforts, Wyatt scared us again last week and we are, again, in the icu.  this time was tough.  and seemed worse.  maybe because i am a bit more emotional.  perhaps because i was on my own.  but there's nothing like being 2 weeks away from giving birth and watching an er team intubate your lifeless child.  

being the super tough cowboy that he is, Wyatt seems to be making a good recovery.  and while last week's heat wave left me wishing that i would go early, i'm doing everything in my power to keep the littler littlest cowboy warm and cozy right where he is.  (but nobody ever tells you how to stall labor, they only tell you how to speed it up, ideas??)

we are grateful for the love and support of those around us, and i'm here to say, keep it up people!  we are diving into uncharted territory (for us).   people do it all the time, right?   well, wish us luck.  wish wyatt a speedy recovery.  wish for world peace.  we all need it!  :)  

First Timers

today Wyatt and i attended our first ever play group.  it was a small group (3 kids this week, 4 next time) and was run by the school that Wyatt will be attending in the fall.  it was such a pleasant experience. the other kids were darling, Wyatt loved the games and songs.  and it was so nice to be doing something special just for him.  just playing with other children.  no therapy, no doctors.  just playin'.  he's wiped out now. taking nap #2.  It was also nice to be around some moms that have some similar day-to-day experiences that i do.  but i couldn't help but notice...(carrie bradshaw anyone?)  

that i haven't been the best at venturing out and putting us in new and potentially awkward situations.  i am always amazed that more people don't stare, don't ask questions and don't make me feel "different".  well, kudos to everyone out there for not doing it.  but i also think it's because i don't let them.  i (and by I, i really mean we) have been an over-protective, sheltering mama for the past 2 and a half years.

i'm determined to change that.  so playgroup is my first try.  not such a bold move, i know.  but, hey, it's a start.

i also know, that with the addition of a little brother, Wyatt will be thrust into new situations.  we will be thrust into new situations.  questions will be asked.  and hopefully, i will be steeled enough to answer them...but for now, we'll enjoy our own little bubble and try, try TRY to break out!

music to my ears!

ok - there's no video really, but the song is AWESOME.  please just listen to it.  you'd think we lived in tombstone or something and not pittsburgh.  LOVE THE LITTLEST COWBOY!

On the to-do list

with a second on the way, our to-do list has taken over our life.  list?  it's is more like a book!  ben and i have been spending hours making lists, going over lists, divvying up lists, and amending lists.  and just when we can cross something off the list, 3 more things are added to it.  and i'm not talking shopping for new crib sheets and washing miniature onesies (which was what most of the lists in the pre-Wyatt era consisted of).
this new modern family of 3 lists include:
dada: finish master's thesis, plan parent's 40th anniversary party, finish renovating basement, plant garden;
mama: finish journal article, travel to Boston, help dada plan party, carry a baby to full term, go to the dang dentist;
Wyatt: learn to fall asleep on your own, get used to your new bedroom, transition to preschool (full day, everyday preschool), visit all of your specialists before the baby comes, get your stander fitted and delivered, and don't forget to stay healthy!

ok, so i'm playing a little violin solo for us today.  just for an hour or so.  and then we are back to the to-do list.  the main problem is, i think, that we are the type of people who thrive on these kinds of situations.  if there wasn't a to-do list, we would think of a new project and make a new list.  so does this mean it's never ending?  i'm afraid, it most likely does.

is there anyone else out there like this?  please, i need to know i'm not the only crazy one!  ;)

TAKE ME SWIMMING!

so much for subtle hints.

TA-DA!

well, we've got lots of winners out there, so here is your picture!  (if you'd like one for your fridge, autographed no less, send me your address :)

so the news is out, our family is about to grow.  me, i'm already growing at a rapid pace. apparently, this little one is trending large, fabulous.  due in June, Wyatt's little brother will be making his long awaited debut.  but in case you wanted a sneak preview - wave to the crowd, little guy!

see ya soon!

what have YOU been up to lately?

i was reading some of my older posts and i feel like i was witty back then.  my posts had themes and i was able to throw in jokes here and there.  they might even make it sound like i was happier back then.  now, i don't blog as often, and when i do, the posts are dry and short and well, boring.  well, they are.  so, i'm gonna try to clean it up a bit.  what else is there to do at 10pm while i await the night nurse's arrival?  don't ask my husband that question.  (SEE?!?  i am funny!)  (and for the record, i am happier NOW!)

so i really hope i don't jinx myself, but the littlest cowboy has been making strides lately.  he's been on a new med, Keppra, that was just a trial to help with his movement disorder, but it has helped tremendously.  and he may just be coming into his own.   he is making so many purposeful movements, reaching for his communication buttons to tell us yes or no, to take turns singing songs and even to activate computer games!
visually, he is a new kid.  tracking, looking for us, smiling and laughing when we are across the room.  these are all things that we weren't sure he'd ever do, and now it seems he trying his hand at all of them.
and sleeping, he is sleeping like a champ now.  i can actually count on two hands the number of nights he has slept 10+ hours in a row.  a real feat for a kid who wasn't getting more than 2 in a row and 7 a night.
he loves school, he loves therapy, he loves other kids and he loves (and i can say this with full confidence) us.  i just melt now, knowing that his smiles are for me.  that he SEES me and is happy about seeing me.  these are uncertainties that i have learned to live with, but am now proud to say are no longer a question deep down in my soul...

where's the witty you ask?  i don't know.  maybe i don't have to cover up anything with sarcasm and cracks now, i'm just really happy.  there may be other reasons too - the first one to guess wins an autographed picture of THIS KID to hang on their fridge!

yes, his shirt says i *heart* budapest.  thanks grandpap.